I made myself walk today. Doc said either keep walking or rest. I rested for several days and my hip/back area was okay. Walking too much makes it worse. It feels like something suddenly slips out of place, and then laying down for days it is better.

My son thinks its an excuse and says I'm asking him to help me because "ever since you went to the doc and found out what is wrong you expect me to help, its an excuse".....umm no kiddo its not... my heart is still jumping in my chest too...

my ex, I don't blame him for everything although its a bitter thing between us, lost his dad and now I feel for him and he knows it... I can't let myself think he was ever good to me because he was a bit in our early years of marriage... but not really...the things he said and did.... yet I can't stop feeling some sympathy. I'm glad it doesn't hurt anymore like it used to and I'm okay with the idea of being alone now. It took me a few years to accept everything was not going to ever work, but I'm finally okay.

I know it is wrong to be feeling kind of justified, but he cheated on me last year and this year found a new woman and moved in with her. Today, he rarely tells me anything, but said he thinks he might need to move out of her home and find his own place. She is forcing him to get a better job and help her more with payments on her house. I'm sorry that I feel good if things don't work out for him, but I think what he did to me, for that, he deserves some problems. I'm bad and will have to ask God to forgive me for thinking that way.