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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside
I havent been able to do it today. I am in the middle of a massive mood swing related to insomnia and bpd. Hopefully i can get back on track. Im feeling loathed and pathic. Is there still hope for me.
Also i made bad decisions today. I had compulsion to ring up tarrot readers and now i hate my self because they wouldnt stop talking about themselves and other people who rang in. I couldnt get a word on edgeways im gonna cry my self to sleep tonight and when i wake up im gonna write MUG on my forhead because thats what i am.
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Hi cryingontheinside,
I think I understand about the tarrot card readers, only because I was depressed myself. You call them up and then you end up in this social situation where it starts to be unpleasant, but it feels like you're powerless and trapped. Parties were often like this for me. I would often start to feel horrible and super-stressed, but felt trapped because it's rude to leave too early. People may think "what's the big deal", but I think this is close to the core of depression and I know it feels just horrible. In that situation, you've lost contact with your inner self and you feel helpless and unable to act. Did I get that right?
I hope you can relax and think of today as a learning experience. I wonder what to do about insomnia though? I had some trouble with this until I got one of those sleep masks, which helped a lot.
- v