I have a situation that has totally taken me by surprise and it's really unsettling.
I have been in a relationship for 10 years. Earlier this year I discovered my SO and best friend having a text/facebook flirtation. I confronted them both separately and after many tears and much shouting from all of us, my friend stopped talking to us and my SO and I tried to rebuild our relationship (or so I thought). Then only ten days later he reconnected with a woman he had been acquainted with in his teens (twenty years ago) and carried on another email/text relationship (this one was more involved) for close to three months before I discovered it and confronted him.
We are now in marriage therapy and have been for three months.
I have discovered over the course of time that I actually don't have any sense of self-preservation in my relationship. I am more interested in doing things for my SO to keep him happy than I am to keep myself happy. I feel totally neutral about what I want in my relationship, I feel like I don't actually need anything for myself.
Is this normal? Is this what unselfishness feels like?? I'm very wary of these feelings and not sure how to proceed.
Thanks in advance.