Hi, I have messed with my BP meds, too.

I have also been in AA for alcoholism and saying "never again" is commonly said after each episode of drinking again even though the results are bad. Admitting deeply to my innermost self that I am an alcoholic helped me accept that even though I can be sober for a while and feeling better that I am still an alcoholic and I can expect the same bad results if I forget I am an alcoholic and drink again. For me and others, accepting that and doing something about alcoholism, such as AA for me, has helped keep me sober for over 20 years.

Inspite of sobriety in AA, some days I resist or forget that I have BP that needs to be treated with meds, self-help, or support because I evidently still have not fully accepted it. With getting sober, it sometimes takes many times of in and out of sobriety with bad results each time before one fully accepts it and can stay sober for long periods of time. Though I know this intellectually from my experience with AA, I sometimes have a hard time applying this also to BP.

But BP meds are also more complicated than sobriety from alcohol because meds have side effects that sobriety does not. The med side effects bother me sometimes, but remembering that I am BP helps... Seeking alternative meds or alternative doses to reduce side effects may help.

Sorry I don't have any better ideas and my experience may not be helpful at all.

Good luck on your journey!