I think I'm really depressed right now. I'm not sure. I have zero interest in anything. I never want to get out of bed and go to work. My wife forces me to shower and I used to love showers. I don't find comfort or interest in anything. I used to love video games especially call of duty. Now I rarely play and when I do I find it very boring.

All I want to do is curl up everyday. And I constantly feel like crying!!! I hate crying. I've cried more the past few months on this roller coaster of feelings than I have in my entire 28yrs. I drive hundreds of miles for work it doesn't bother me but I've noticed driving in the country I constantly wonder if very thing goes to **** where would I bunker down? Sometimes I see things and I'm unsure if I really saw them and I look back and it's gone. I'm constantly tired except when I'm hyper. And when I'm hyper I just wanna go go go.

I just dunno anymore. I think I am losing it.