sophiesmom: If I did that, I would be hated. Not that there is any love lost between me and my s/o's friends. It's not like I have a lot to lose. But, like I said, we are polite to each other. That's not much, but I would not like to destroy that little bit of civility. And it would be rude of me. Truth is, though, that I have sunk back to being so depressed that I don't know I'll be much good to anyone. Neither my s/o, nor his kids, know anything about depression. They are vigorous, aggressive people who forge ahead and don't second guess themselves. We have little in common. I'll just be glad when this next week is all over with. Then maybe I can let go of the resentment that is devouring me. That is my inner demon. His daughter more or less told me many years ago, when I was whining about the toll this relationship takes on me, "Rose, no one is holding a gun to your head. You don't have to do one single thing that you don't want to do. So just don't. Let go. Get on with your life. Don't make yourself miserable." Is she not right?

Jade: Thank you. That's kind to say. I don't know that I what I deserve. I truly am confused.

Well, my last post above ended with me having talked myself into a good space. The night past . . . . . and I couldn't sustain it. Fell back in the pit. I'm just in tears so disappointed in myself. Did nothing all day. Should go get some food now. Guess I will do that.