I don't really know what to say, i just wanted to chime in and tell you you are not alone. I don't have a career or family either. I'm on disability benefits, too. The most meaningful think in my life is just a mental health drop-in i attend three days a week. The other days i'm on my own but i also have a dog and find she is a great comfort.

It's not much but it's sustainable. I get beautiful, euphoric manias in the Spring but spend the balance of the year in mild depression. It's a struggle to get thru the days. Lots of days i count the hours until i can go to bed again. Sleep is an excellent escape. Sometimes i go to bed super early because i've run out of things to do and if i just lie there for hours, what does it matter?

Bipolar is hard but everybody suffers. It's part of the human experience. It unites us rather then divides us. Time hangs heavily on my hands but at least i don't have some stupefying job. I live in a government town and there are lots of people here pushing paper, trapped in repetitive, mind-numbing menial labor.

I guess in a small town there are not a lot of opportunities for amusement. But you have an Internet connection. I play online Scrabble. There was a tremendous amount to learn when i first got involved. How about that, or online Chess, Bridge or Poker?

Hang in there!