Hi, I'm a 22yr old student that wants to become a concept artist in the entertainment industry. It is a highly competitive field but since I was a child I always dreamed of being part in the production of a big movie or video game. This is my main goal in life. I have no doubts about it in any way, I would never consider any alternative path. And still I have motivational issues, which I will try to describe now.

As I mentioned the competition and the pressure to work is very high. I love my work but I lack in endurance. You all know as well as me about the highs and lows of human motivation, that's not my point here. I have a problem with discipline, with keeping myself in a hardworking mode (especially when I'm not in a school that pressures me with homework). Basically I'm lazy.

Now don't get me wrong, I know very well what it means to work hard. I put myself through a year in a design school where we had to work an average of 16hrs a day, everyday, no weekends, no holidays, 12 month. Lots of sleepless nights, after just 3 weeks into school our whole class transformed into zombies, we lived just to work. I went through a lot of frustration but man I progressed! Thanks to my motivating teachers, thanks to my classmates who went through the same and finally thanks to me, I realized I really want to do this.

Does this sound controversial to what I wrote in the beginning? To me it does. Now I'm in another school, still working on my portfolio. But I sure waste a lot of time! I sleep too much, I spend too much time on my phone, on facebook, on youtube (oh Conan O'Brian why are you so funny..^^) and just generall daydreaming/not working.
I have a pretty good basic understanding of how the human brain works. The reason why I spend more time on youtube for example is because I'm releasing way more endorphins with a simple click of my mouse than I could produce with an hour of work, so naturally I tend to do the easy-fun solution more often. But knowing the mechanics doesn't make anything easier.

My problem is when I ask myself about my priorities I have everything in order, I know how important it is to me to reach my goal, I know how much it takes to get there and still... when I wake up at 9am (which is already plenty of sleep) why can't I jump out of bed and get my *** to work. Why does this only work once every 10 days? Why can't my brain stay(!) aware of the seriousness of my goal?

There are no motivational quotes or stories that can help. My problem goes beyond that. It's my attitude. I know exactly what I want but I lack the discipline to put it into practice for, and that's the important part, a consistent amount of time. Anyone can motivate themself for a day or a week..

I'm really good at rewarding myself when I achieved something. I'm the best at giving myself a break. I'm horrible at keeping up the pace AFTER I achieved something big. I want to make it part of my personality that I persistently work hard when I need to. I want to get the laziness out of me or at least reduce it to a minimum.

I don't know if you can give me any answers to this. Just know I'm not looking for tips like "It's about how much you're willing to sacrifice" or "It's about if you really really want it or not". I'm looking to change my personality, how to redirect those damn thick and strong neurons in my brain that tell me "It's ok to procastinate a little, you'll still get it done, you always have" or "1 more hour of sleep won't hurt, it never did". I reinforce them everytime I take a break and the once that keep me working stay weak in comparison.

Sorry I'm bad at making it short, but I think you get my problem by now. If you read through all this, thank you very much!

novus