Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
It sounds like she suspects that you are censoring yourself and trying to be the "good client." Presenting a "false" self that you think she wants to see. Most ruptures trace to disagreements that are not voiced, so she could be trying to strengthen the alliance by letting you experience that disagreements can be talked about without the sky falling and the relationship ending. To experience her acceptance of your true self, even if you have disagreements.
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I think she knows I don't try to be the "good client". We've had a number of marked disagreements and
major mutual challenges, all of which have been dealt with healthily and without any personal judgment on either side. As I've said, we communicate well. She has also remarked that I seem to communicate effectively with people in my life.
Part of the worrying thing about her suggestion is that she has said she would find it interesting if I disclosed something that made
her feel distant from
me and how we would handle that. This feels as though it would be bringing unhelpful stuff into our relationship. A lot of what I value about the therapeutic relationship is the non-judgmental space. If I have to suddenly start dealing with my T saying she feels personally distant from me because of an attitude I have, this would seem to be introducing her judgment as a new issue to contend with. Is it appropriate for a T to say they feel personally distant from a client?
This is what I find puzzling.