Thank you so much for your reply, it means so much to me that you actually took the time to read it through.

Yeah, I get what you're saying and in truth, I would do it, I really would and I know it needs to happen, but I just can't.

After the break up, we had 3 months of no contact and it was hard but necessary. I worked on myself and sorted out my problems, became a better person and decided to start making the life I wanted, without him.

I was certain it was over for good and I'd never hear from him again.

Whilst I realize I may have come off as a bit obsessive in my first post, I'd like to clarify that I'm emotionally stable and determined. As strange as it may seem, distancing myself like this, slowly, it helps me. It's not a direct brutal cut that'll take a long time to get adjusted to, it's a slow process where I get the time to adjust to being further and further away from him.

As to the break up, he left me because I had hurt myself during a visit and to him, it proved that I had gone nowhere with my treatment.

He felt exhausted, tired of trying to help me, I had worn him out and dragged him down with me.

The relationship was no longer a relationship, it was a prison for him. All he saw was a person who was becoming more and more self-destructive.

Everything you've said actually confirmed what I already kinda knew, that he's having difficulties himself. He's never been good with emotions, feelings for him were a toxic subject.

What exactly do you mean when you say you feel bad for him?