Warning: very light mention of self-harm.

Yep, I read through it all. 8)

Not in the sense that you're a bad person! I meant in the sense that I know how hard it is to let go when you really care about someone, and especially when they're self-destructive and stuff.

You'd probably be surprised as to just how much I relate. I was basically in the same situation that he was in with you, I believe. Or at least, similar. It certainly was a mission. In the end, I just couldn't take it anymore; I figured it was doing neither of us any good, so I called it quits, but getting over her was incredibly difficult, 'though I doubt she has any idea. I still sometimes get haunted by memories, years later. I've not spoken to her in a good few years. Just one of those things.

Knowing what you've said in your last post, only makes me further sure of what I said, I think. In-fact, thinking about it, I probably did exactly what he's doing. If he's anything like me, back then, he's probably struggling to break away and not be that crutch, because he's so used to it, cares so much for you. I really wanted to help my ex so much, even sacrificing my already-screwed up sanity at the time - I just wanted her to be happy; I bet he feels/felt similarly.

Actually, you know what, I think I see what this is... this is the situation I would have been in, had I contacted her a few months after my ex had come out of hospital and what-not, but, I let a friend speak for me, and that was the end of that; I've regretted that for years, but reading what you've said, makes me think I did the right thing, despite the pain.

I'm guessing your relationship with this guy was partly built on pain and suffering, perhaps common-ground? That's how it was with my ex 'n' I. As much as there were amazing times and as much as we were strong together, I just wasn't enough, and I couldn't handle it. Back in the day, when my ex did the stuff she did (dangerously self-destructive) I couldn't help but to take it that I meant nothing to her, that she didn't care about my feelings or the feelings of others that loved her, and I was frustrated! So, so frustrated, because it was like I could never truly help her; I could never truly be what she needed. She's married, now, hopefully happily, so it's all in the past, but it sucked at the time, to say the very least. Put it this way, it opened my eyes, I quit self-harming, started ditching my suicidal thoughts and stuff, then very gradually healed. In a strange way, I think I mourned the loss as though she had died.

Sorry to ramble.

Actually, I didn't get an obsessive vibe from it. xD But I'd understand if you were, because he was your crutch, right? He was your safety net, in a way - it's pretty hard to let the go, and well done for what you've so far managed.

PS
I like that you've been on PC for years but barely posted... hah xD That was like me, 'till I started actually using PC more, and posting more frequently, then became a CL, so it's post, post, post!