Well, that was really nice to hear, Teepee. I am indeed so conflicted that I feel like I am about to become completely unglued. Thanks for grasping. It's like I have an ocean of resentment inside me. And, right now, I feel like I am the bad person to be like this.

The suggestion that I go away (or say that I am) and leave this man and his daughter to do whatever they can figure out is like a fantasy I'm having. But I'm hearing from multiple persons that I should consider really doing it. But to me it still seems like a spiteful fantasy . . . . something that I could never do, unless I am willing to see what bonds I've had with this man for 30 years get rent completely apart. It seems like one of those steps that there is no coming back from . . . . . that could result in him and his family being furious with me and labeling me as the worst snot in the world.

I realize I'm at an impasse, mentally. And I will have to chose to do something. And, if it's a hard choice, no one can change that for me, or tell me there's some easy choice I can latch on to.

I just talked to the Caregiver Support person on my friend's healthcare team. Can't say that it helped me. I do appreciate people trying to help me see my situation in a constructive way. If possible, I need to turn my attention off this whole matter and just do something satisfying with my day . . . . . because I'm just obsessing in a very unhealthy way.

It's like I don't even believe that he really cares for me, but is just glad that I'm around to meet his needs. I just feel so mad at him and his adult children and this is pretty childish.

Just talked to his daughter, and I feel better. I tell her this is getting too frustrating for me, and she tells me to take care of myself and it sounded kind of good, so I feel less mad.

I guess what it really boils down to is that I don't feel loved, cherished and appreciated. Not by him, not by his kids. So I get mad. Better to just decide that I need to get less involved. When you're in a lop-sided relationship that feels so unfair, maybe the thing to do is step out of being that deeply involved. That's really the only thing that is going to make me feel less like a victim of unfairness.

There is no law of the universe that says that people have to reciprocate. They are who they are. Being mad that they won't be different toward me is a recipe for me making myself crazy. I am going to let this daughter do a bit more about getting her father ready for what outings she has planned. I'll be picking her up at the airport and bringing her to her father's place, so she can pick up her father's car. Then, when she says let's get together at such-and-such a place, I'll say, "Okay, I'll meet you guys there."