When I saw my p-doc earlier this week- I let him know that I was having trouble eating, and that the stress from my divorce becoming finalized was really getting to me, however- I am able to sleep at night. He pointed out that I'm at the peak time of the year for my job- that I am sleeping- and that anyone would be stressed from a divorce being finalized. He still categorizes my BP as low to moderate impact- and let me know that it looked my medicine was controlling the symptoms of bipolar, and I was just experiencing and working through an elevated level of stress.

I brought up that I go to bed by 9:30 but can barely get out of bed at 7:00AM. He thought that building in exercise into my schedule would alleviate it vs trying a different medication. I did share with him that jogging seems to cause me to get hypomanic.

I got approached by a headhunter after the appointment. While the job sounds interesting- I could just feel my mind start to race after I had the interview. I literally couldn't get away from the thoughts and implications of switching my job. Right now- I'm in a job where I have a great relationship with my boss, I have flexibility for dr appointments- getting in a bit later in the morning since I have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Work is stressful right now but it will get better when the workload decreases. I honestly do not think that I could handle another stressor on top of my divorce right now- although having more money would be nice.

So I wrote the recruiter a professional e-mail letting her know that I wouldn't be able to move forward in the process due to personal reasons. I feel like I'm letting my career ambitions down- but right now I really value stability over having yet more upheaval in my life.

What troubles me- is that after the appointment, the stress of work- I just feel like I want to cry. Not sure if this due to the grief of the divorce being finalized and being so alone, having to be the sole person over my finances, or what.