After my last session with my T I felt anger and disappointment about some things she said in therapy. I spent some time after the session and thought more and more about those things which then led to me e-mailing her in a critical way. I just talked about the actual situations that made me feel disappointed, I didn´t call her names or anything like that but now I really regret it and I feel a lot of shame.

I also feel hatred towards myself for acting out in this way as my T besides the things I felt negatively about said nice and kind things and acted in an engaged and interested way towards me.

I made it clear to my T that I perhaps won´t get back into therapy with her and that also makes me feel very ashamed as I´ve told her many positive things and felt very positively about what she's doing for me.

I think that even if she tries to make me come back into therapy I won´t feel I´m at all worthy of another chance and I will also feel so ashamed I won´t be able to talk to her in a normal way after this. I kind of feel that a fair punishment for me doing like this is me losing my chance to further therapy. I really feel like I´m a disgusting person who really doesn´t deserve any kind of help.

I haven´t received an answer to my email yet and I now want to hear if anyone else has been in a similar situation, e-mailing your T in an angry manner and then feeling this way. I'm not looking for the advice to talk to my T about this as it would be completely out of the question at the moment.