Okay so today I realised among a sea of reasons I wanna come off meds because I really miss being manic. I don't miss the aggression or the crazy rage. But I miss feel good immortal! Like nothing could touch or hurt me like I was everything. God I even miss the delusions of grander.

I'm quite balanced at the moment I still get lows but not suicidal anymore, I still self harm and feel very lonely a lot of the time but I'm okay on meds. I just really miss flying.