Quote:
Originally Posted by Curious651
Sorry you feel so bad at the moment and feel you have had such a rough life. I wish that was not the case. Unfortunately many of us have a lot of bad stuff that happens to us. Speaking for self, I could look at all the bad stuff in my life and really hate everything and everyone. In order to avoid that, I try to look at the good and what I do have. You are very fortunate to hav a wife, a life, and the health you have. It is proven fact that if your mindset to changed and you look at the positive when you can, things are better. I have changes in mood daily and sometimes hourly. When depressed, it sucks, when manic I love it, but when mixed. To me that is the worst. I hope you can find the good. Many of us are alone, broken, and scared. That is a sad reality that I hate to see or read. Please cherish the good.
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I understand the feelings of mixed. Before I hit this depression I spent 2 weeks in a mixed state where I was suicidal, wanting to SH, and just generally enraged with the feelings in my head. And as far as suicide and SH, the scary thing was how much energy I had, so I think without my wife's help and my friends, I fear for the things I could have or would have done. I was also hearing voices and my inner monologue wanted to the control. With the help of my other support group I managed to evade what could have been a potential end by simple venting and channeling the rage and hate to an outside source. My new meds seems to have started to stabilize but unfortunately they have evened me out at a low point. I know there is a light and I am trying to get there, but damn, I feel like crap. At least I am only at a low point. But damn I miss the energy I had..