Thank you for your reply and your advise, I appreciate it!

I agree with most of what you said, but not all. I think it is possible to achieve constant motivation. I realized I set up a goal for myself but I didn't solve the Why question, which is the ultimate source for motivation. I know now that I wanna succeed today, because I don't want that regret a few years from now that I could have worked harder, I don't want to live my life on 90%.
Also there is no balanced lifestyle on the road to success. My teachers told me that back in school and I only half believed them. Other successful people say that aswell, there is no compromise, nice middle road that brings fun and real success at the same time, it's either one or the other. I realize that now.
Of course health is ultimately always first priority, but people (me included) are so scared of being tired and burned out that they never even try to work harder. And yes I'm setting myself for failure, a lot of it, but I've seen what happens when people keep trying and don't give up.

Thanks again for this forum, it gave me a plattform to write my thoughts down which helped a lot. You can close this thread if you wish, I'll keep reading it tho.