Lik3, I was with you all the way until you mentioned diabetes and PCOS.

I don't believe in losing weight for self-esteem or self-consciousness. It's way too fragile a reason. But health, that's a different matter.

Improve your eating habits and exercise habits for your health and if you lose weight along the way that'll be great. But please don't do it for your self-esteem or because you're self-conscious. Do it because it's part of bringing diabetes and PCOS under control.

Just this week I read a post on another site from a young woman who was berating herself, hating herself, calling herself a failure and tossing back the booze because she'd eaten a piece of cake. Her entire self-esteem was tied-up in losing weight and looking good. It's so easy for that to happen.

You know what ... we're not better people if we weigh less. We're smaller, and maybe healthier, but not better. People get mad at me for saying that. Oh, well. It's something I strongly believe. Our size does not indicate our character. My weight is not an indicator of my worth (and I'm at a size that's pretty good for my age group. It doesn't mean I'm a better person than my age-peer friends who've gained more weight.)

If I lose ten pounds, I'm probably more comfortable in my clothes, but I'm not smarter or nicer or more compassionate or a better person. If I gain ten pounds I'm not a less intelligent or meaner or a more selfish person. Same goes for a hundred pounds. We're still the same person inside and more often than not that person is pretty damn okay.

If I make it about losing weight, it actually jeopardizes my self esteem. If I make it about doing what's best for my health and quality of life and even saving my life, then I know I'm doing the right thing.

Lik, I don't know what you weigh, but whether it's 130 lbs or 430, you're still the same person inside and that's one of the very best things about communicating with people on the internet. We can make it about their minds and humor and personality, not about how they look. A person's inner radiance can shine through. I like that. I hope you do what's best for your health.

I wish you the best.