Paula, my first impulse is to ask if maybe this might represent a pattern in your relationships -- something the other person says or does annoys you, you begin to feel more than annoyed and let them know about it and then you feel awful and ashamed of yourself and not eager to face the other person again?

I ask because several (maybe many over the months) other posters have described very similar experiences with their Ts.

If this is a pattern in your life -- and only you know -- it's a perfect thing to bring up in therapy. Trust me, your therapist will know how to handle it if you say, Look, T, I said those things and then I suffered the agonies of the damned afterward -- so ashamed and disgusted with myself. Help me figure that out! If therapy brings something like that out, it's great. You did great. I know you don't believe that right now, but this could be an important moment of progress.

That's actually one of the things therapy is really good at addressing, as long as you describe the sequence of events to your T, just like you did in your opening post. It's the pattern that counts, not what T said, or you said. The pattern of expressing yourself and then feeling lower than a snake belly afterwards.

This could be a breakthrough moment, Paula. Just be honest and let the therapeutic chips fall where they may. Your T will know how to help.

I wish you the best.