Just because you've had some problems with sex doesn't mean you always will. You only just had surgery on your man parts two months ago and you need time to adjust.

It sounds as though you felt pressured by your most recent girlfriend to have sex when you were trying more to develop emotional intimacy. And it isn't surprising that she is confused; you are confused too. Maybe you and she can continue to date or maybe not but the one thing you need to accept (in my opinion, if you don't mind) is that you are not a bad person if you are not perfect. Most guys experience erectile dysfunction at least sometimes. I love extended foreplay and oral and stuff so maybe do that rather than pressuring yourself to perform a specific sex act.