Thank you so much for the replies. She uses person centred counselling...it's really great and I feel very supported by her and yes...this is the confusing part really. There is csa in my past but I've never seen it as (sorry this sounds awful) as "bad" enough to cause everything that's going on now and of course she and the mental health people I see hone straight in on it. I just feel nothing about it but not feeling is a big issue for me so I don't know really how I feel or process it. She says minimising it as been a coping mechanism and now I do anything I can to avoid dwelling on it and she could be right even though in my own head I feel that I would love to spark a reaction in myself, feel something...sometimes I feel so bad that I haven't been able to or I feel she thinks I'm doing it on purpose...and then I think maybe I am...sorry this reply is probably making no sense! Thank you though x