I think we're not doing our jobs if we DON'T tell a therapist if they're hurtful, neglecting or just plain wrong.

It can be extremely difficult to criticize if we view a therapist as the stronger person who'll guide us out of our quagmires. It's also difficult if our relationship has been a harmonious honeymoon with never a cross word spoken. Bad case, it's tough if the therapist has a disapproving, stern or bullying streak. Worst of all, it's difficult is we sense a therapist incapable of dealing with our criticism.

It's upsetting because we know we're affecting a power balance. We're taking more control. It's difficult because often we can't know the outcome.

A good therapist will take respectful, or maybe even disrespectful criticism gracefully, responsively and will stopthe offending behavior. If the transaction goes poorly, we've just learned some important things about a therapist, and the news isn't good.