My bf & I have been together for 4.5 years. He wants to marry me this Christmas. I don't doubt that he's serious about being committed to me but I don't get why he does things that make me distrust him & makes me insecure.

We have a past. We've been in a relationship for 4.5 years and we've endured arguments & have said hurtful things to each other. I forgave him because I love him & I wanted a new relationship. I have learned from my mistakes. It has taken him a while to forgive me & he continued to lash out & say hurtful things to me, about my body & my son/ family because he was hurt. I broke up with him & went no contact with him for over a month because he of the above reasons. I didn't want to be blamed for my mistakes anymore. It worked because he apologized & said he wouldn't bring up the past going forward.

It's only been a month & everything has been wonderful but we hit a brick wall yesterday. He recently met a couple from the town I'm from. They know my sister but do not know me. My sister hates my bf because of how he's treated me & he doesn't care for her either. He told the man what he's been through in the relationship & the man asked him, why is he with a woman like me? I didn't hear the conversation. My bf told me what they said.

I was hurt because I thought my bf should have told the whole story but he made it seem like everything was my fault. He didn't take ownership for his mistakes & put all the blame on me. It hurt because our past shouldn't matter to a stranger &there was no reason to bring it up. I think that he told this person about my mistakes just in case the guy asks my sister about him & my sister tells him that my bf was a jerk.

It also hurt my feelings because he is supposed to lift me up as his lady. We're supposed to be a team. I don't let anyone talk badly about him even if he was a jerk because it's my choice to stay with him. We buried the past last month but it seems like he's still dragging my name through the mud & blaming me.

I told him how I felt & he thinks I'm putting his feelings before his but I'm not. He feels that his feelings are more important than him standing up for me as his lady. He said that his feelings are more important than my reputation! I broke up with him because I don't things will ever get better or that he can ever move on without issues. It hurts so much because I love him. I can't be married to a resentful man who is supposed to love me. He's done far worse things to me than I've done but I'm not keeping a score card.

Did I make a mistake by letting him go?