perna, the sentence about "telling kids they're always wonderful" made me think of something.

i used to judge the Oklahoma State Fair Rodeo Queen contest. i did it for 8 years. the first year that i judged, i critiqued each contestant and the other judge didn't. he just wrote flowery _________ to each contestant.......

the girls would come around, the next year, and tell me how much they had worked on what i had noted.....even if it was something small, it can make a HUGE difference in how you present yourself and your horse. the contest was strictly on horsemanship and then personality, so i took it very seriously.

i think you can withhold constructive criticism too much and a person suffers from it. pat