I'm feeling really bummed about my weight, particularly in the past year and a half, where I've gained back all 35 pounds that I had previously lost in 2012. My mother spent much of my childhood constantly trying to lose weight, joining clubs and support groups, trying new diet fads, and she has always done living room aerobics for as long as I remember. She was finally successful in losing 80 pounds from 2009-2011 and that was the first time I became the heaviest woman in my immediate family.

Now, my mother-in-law, who is similarly shaped as my mother, and is two inches shorter than me, has begun to lose weight; she has already lost 25 pounds. We just had a picture taken of my husband's family last night and upon review of the photo, I am now officially the heaviest woman in my family and my husband's immediate family.

Words cannot express how disappointed this makes me feel about myself. Don't get me wrong - I'm very happy and supportive of my mom and MIL that they have taken the steps to get healthy, but I'm also incredibly jealous and all around sad that I just can't seem to maintain a healthier weight. I find that even when I restrict my calories to a mere 1200 per day, I do not lose weight. At first, my body reacts by dropping about 5 pounds in water weight and then nothing... I stay the same for three or four weeks, completely disappointing me, so I stop monitoring my caloric intake and voila! back up to the weight I started.

When I lost the 35 pounds in 2012, I was taking a fat burner and had a dedicated gym buddy who would meet me for classes and weight lifting four days a week. Husband and I attempt to go to the gym together, but neither of us are very consistent about when and how often we go. Also, because I have recently begun taking anti-depressants, I'm not able to take a fat burner since the medications probably wouldn't interact well. I was also militant in my caloric intake. It was exhausting after a while to keep counting, so after 6 months I stopped logging my calories, and slowly but surely, regained all the weight I lost.

I'm really disappointed in myself and feel kind of lost on how to feel good about myself again. I don't like feeling overweight and I really don't like seeing pictures of myself at this weight.

Sorry you had to read my long-winded post, I don't even have a question, just needed somewhere to vent about my struggles.