I'm feeling better now that I'm off work. We went for a autumn drive in the forest near our house. I love the Fall. All of it and for a little bit I'm embracing the happiness. It may not last, but after yesterday's break down I have to be gentle with myself. I told my wife that this weekend we are going to go walking out in the forest (in safe zones since it is hunting season) and if I fight it she's to remind me that this was my idea. I'm hoping it'll make me feel better period. At least in this moment I'm happy.