"I guess what it really boils down to is that I don't feel loved, cherished and appreciated. Not by him, not by his kids. So I get mad. Better to just decide that I need to get less involved. When you're in a lop-sided relationship that feels so unfair, maybe the thing to do is step out of being that deeply involved. That's really the only thing that is going to make me feel less like a victim of unfairness.

There is no law of the universe that says that people have to reciprocate. They are who they are. Being mad that they won't be different toward me is a recipe for me making myself crazy. I am going to let this daughter do a bit more about getting her father ready for what outings she has planned. I'll be picking her up at the airport and bringing her to her father's place, so she can pick up her father's car. Then, when she says let's get together at such-and-such a place, I'll say, "Okay, I'll meet you guys there." "quote Rose76

Yes, I do see this going on for you. The last paragraph is ok, reasonable, but will you do it? OR, will you give in and accomodate "them"? You are right in that you will probably not get appreciated for it if you accomodate "them". But keep in mind Rose, it won't be because you are undeserving, it will all be due to their inability to "know better".