I find that's sad there is a lack of that. More importantly people have settled themselves of shooting themselves in the foot in my city because of lack of quality jobs. I don't think it's bad to have a lower wage job, just people out here expect more but work harder to get a lot less to be very poor. I don't mind the conservative stuff, except when it's really not that important to begin with. I mean I'd like to say to some of these people, get your priorities straight and worry more about issues to getting a better job for yourselves and make things happen not just blame it on others and the government.

It's sad, drugs are easier to get a hold of than books for school where I live and anything you want with drugs is here. It's sad that's all people do and people my age are finally realizing that and they are trying to put me in that road, but I don't want to be around anyone. I used to do drugs and sorta still do, but not like that. It makes me sad and it's why I stopped for a year occassionally once or twice now but that's it. No more than like 2 times. I don't find it a need, or an urge. It also bugs me people want to get married, kids and house at like right out of high school.

A lot of women my age really turn me off and bug me, especially when they expect me to do that same thing for them. I ignore everyone, because I'm not into the same thing everyone is craving here. It feels very lonely people only care about that crap and are superficial and mean to everyone. Our police are nice in certain areas, but mainly we'd be like LA and the Michael Brown out in ST Louis in my city.

It depresses me, that I can't just run away and live alone in the woods far far away. It's like being apart of a country that has to track and stalk you and force you to convert or be penalized especially to people who aren't criminals.
I feel like I can't leave here, but it's like I'm forced to starve to death financially and support my parents and myself at times.
When most of my friends can go to college and live a happy life being independent and free. I work a lot and it still doesn't help me much at all.

Like she said, I've been left to be abandoned many many times by everyone literally. I don't have anywhere to go. She was crying my therapist when I was telling her what's going on, because I wasn't crying I was just numb and exhausted grieving that I can't leave. I'm working so hard and still left unnoticed and I'm working on my dreams just awaiting for them to come true with music.

I'm just tired of being ignored by people who really don't understand the world and like to shove their agenda down everyone's throats including mine. but when I have an issue, I'm always told to be quiet or people choose not to listen or understand and just judge even my parents.

I don't like relationships more despise them and find them burdensome. Dating feels like a prison sentence not in a joking way. It hasn't worked out in this city it won't, I know meeting the right person talk over and over, but I'm exhausted being spoon fed all this nice compliments and bs of something that hasn't happened, based on where I live. I have not ever been accepted for who I was living here. I don't belong here and I never will. I tried to be like everyone else and that's where I learned I don't belong here. So their isn't anything new to understand, just she cried knowing I really needed help and I'm not getting it. period.