Don't give.up because it does get better. I know what you mean about not caring about life. I often feel like what's my purpose because I suck at life. I think we all just do the best we can with the tools we're given. There's no competition except within. It's not worth wasting my time comparing my life to the "ideal" chosen by society. Screw it! I try to focus on what will bring me happiness and peace.