Having bouts of depression for months on end while on medication is a living nightmare from which there seems no end. Anyone feeling like that would naturally want the opposite. I know that feeling. My last manic episode was 18 months ago, i was happy, confident, full of energy and generally loved being alive. I wasn't so high as to require hospitalization, but did make some really really bad decisions. Since then I have very much swung into a depressive low, and have been switching meds trying to climb out. I want what I consider "me" back.....that confident happy go lucky person I associate with mania. I hate being medicated for depression but at the same time being medicated to ensure I don't go high...it just doesn't seem fair.

But the mania is not worth the cost and it doesn't last. Especially if your not on any medication. My experience with bipolar is you just cannot maintain a stable mania. Nor is it in anyones long term interests. When you weigh up the positives vs negatives of mania. ...med induced "normal" us the best goal to strive for.

But one can dream....and if I could choose my dreams, I know who I would like to be..........