To clarify.. we did not have a funeral for my Father. We planted a tree and buried his ashes in it. I do not sit around crying for my Dad. Just think of him often with great memories. My problem isn't the death of my Dad... it's my fear of funerals and cemeteries that popped up sometimes later. They give me great anxiety and I start bawling. When my Grandmother passed away last year, I could not get out of the car to approach the grave site for the funeral. Sat in the car freaking out, crying like there was no tomorrow. We were not close. I barely knew her. To the person that said for me to stay out of cemeteries, I have yet to be to one in 14 years. We used to go visit the grave sites of hubby's family and see how old all the other stones were. I cannot do it anymore. What I am trying to understand is why do I act like that? What's bringing it on?