Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkin121
She's also a virulent racist and anti-semite which makes me dislike her even more. What I'm struggling with is how much of her actions can be attributed to her personal accountability and decisions and how much to her mental illness? What can I hold her accountable for? Because when I treat her with too much empathy, I feel like she thinks I condone her behavior and she can continue to manipulate and abuse people. It's so hard to have empathy for someone so abusive and I feel like it's a bit of a betrayal to those she has abused.
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Pumpkin, I get where you're coming from. There is a grey area between the symptoms of MI and simply being a nasty person. I have struggled with this myself in understanding my mother's behaviour (she has never been diagnosed but my old T, friends and other MH professionals have strongly suggested that she is mentally ill) with regards to her physical and emotional abuse. As for the racist part, I've yet to hear of any MI which suddenly causes the sufferer to express a desire to join the KKK so that may just be her own prejudice.
IMO, I would explicitly tell her that I disapprove of her actions but will support her efforts at getting better (if she tries) as her sister who wants the best for her. However, as the saying goes: a leopard never changes its spots and the reality is that some people are simply inherently spiteful. In that case I hope you can have the peace of mind knowing that none of this is your fault and you have done your duty as a concerned family member but the ultimate responsibility still lies with her.
Wishing you the best.
