Teacake,
Thanks. I actually have taken years of martial arts (I am one belt below brown). But I have also been conditioned not to defend myself. And even people like my therapist have forced me to hug them.
I could defend myself I just never choose to. I am very conditioned to take any abuse (verbal, physical, sexual) without resistance. The worst thing I do is disassociate. I don't ever defend myself or even leave the situation.
But thanks, the grounding stuff sounds like it might work. And I appreciate the advice.