im 27 yrs old, undiagnosed - never was allowed to go to a therapist as a kid so i just felt i shouldn't ever go. i really feel uncomfortable speaking with anyone, even my parents, unless its just about facts - i cant talk chit chat or random stuff or gossip - i just can recite things i know. and so i have no friends because i dont have any feeling for "how are you?" or if they tell me something that i'm supposed to react to. i shut down sometimes too and go mute when too much is going on or if im frustrated. i get really frustrated because inside my head im content being quiet and not looking in peoples eyes but on the outside i feel ridiculous like I don't belong at all and people think im stupid. i dont know what to do - i keep using drugs so that i forget myself but i hate that. i really dont know what to do but ive gotten to the point where i want help.