im confused. if your grades are great, how can you be doing bad in school? the goal is to find answers in books or online. you utilize what resources you have available. you are not expected to have the information in your head. and if you grades are great, then why would you consider yourself an idiot who could not reach a goal of becoming a phd in astronomy or physics? I think the real issue is low self esteem telling you you are doing bad and you are an idiot.

it is a shame you can not go to your mother to talk about your feelings. you should be able to tell her you are depressed so she can get you some help. depression could also be affecting your self worth. people should not get in trouble for attempting to talk about their feelings. you have us here. we will listen and support you. you can talk about anything here. follow this link Forums at Psych Central - Show Groups and PM any of the community liaisons if you want to talk privately. we will be happy to chat with you.

but you also have a counselor at school. I recommend you go to him/her and tell him/her that you believe you are depressed and that you need someone to talk to. they might be able to give you help or if it is like here, they will contact your parents with their concern to get you help. maybe coming from a professional, your mother will listen.