(((((janfow)))))

It sounds like right now isn't the best time for you to look for romance. You have a lot going on in so many ways, which is okay, but what stands out to me is your self-hate and self-blame.

From personal experience, I can assure you that finding a decent love when we're stuck in these states of mind just cannot be done. While I absolutely abhor the phrase, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself", it's true. Being stuck in self-hate and misery, it's really tough to be in the right frame of mind to notice the right guy when he comes along.

I can understand and relate very well to your family and friends struggles. That is very hard. Have you tried joining support groups for your neurological disorder and depression? Some support in that part of your life could be just what the doctor ordered.

You may want to come and check out the support group, see if it's right for you. http://forums.psychcentral.com/group...disorders.html