update on this
As it turns out it was actually adderall that my brother took & didn't like, so i'm more convinced my family just doesnt respond well to it

I got severely depressed & suicidal the second day of 30mg, so i stopped taking it. the day i was off it was mostly fatigue. then i started 10 again, and it was helpful & didnt cause depressive symptoms. however because that reaction was so strange and frightening we decided to try concerta. i haven't had an increase of depressive symptoms at all on concerta. a week of 18 and then a week of 36 were both fine and helping my ADHD symptoms.

However, I started getting pupil dilation, with mismatched sizes too. I thought it was kind of funny actually but then I started getting horrific headaches. It took a while to realize it was eye strain and a while after that to realize my sunglasses were not UVA/UVB protected and thus not preventing eye strain. a good pair of sunglasses helped. but it's extremely inconvenient. people treat you waaay different if you wear sunglasses indoors...

it happened on 4 occasions - once on adderall 10, so it's stimulants in general that do this-, but the last time it happened, it lasted three days without taking any more Concerta. so my psychiatrist wants me to stop and try Strattera instead.

I understand prolonged pupil dilation can cause long-term damage if you aren't careful with eye strain, but I'm seriously not looking forward to going off Concerta. Like, I finally find a drug that helps my symptoms, and I was doing so well... and now i have to get off because of an uncommon side effect. It's disappointing to say the least.. And, of course, withdrawal from concerta is not helping my mood right now either. It's like someone took all my motivation, and then processed it into fear :x i suppose it has to pass at some point.. and maybe strattera really will help without any unacceptable side effects..

anyways, to sum up thread: adderall XR can cause severe depressive symptoms in high doses; stimulants can cause eye dilation (with different sized pupils) which will result in light sensitivity and eye strain (headache, stabbing pain 'behind' one eye, hot face); and, not all sunglasses actually make a difference