Well I have hit rock bottom. I am going today to see if I can find a bed in a homeless shelter. I have totally messed my life up. I would just end it but I don't want my son who is bipolar to see it as an option at least I can hold onto that thought for now. I have no one left in my life willing to help. Can't believe that in July I had a career and a life now it is all gone. I just hope I can keep holding on I know it is going to get harder. I have always needed control now I have lost that. I have long since made a plan if it gets unbearable but keep on hoping for strength sorry for rambling.