Hi everyone,
i'm not really sure what to say here. My best friend died by suicide just over a year ago. She was meant to be staying with me on the weekend but i got a text from her saying that she couldn't get a ride down (i'd just moved 3 hours away). I replied that it was fine and next weekend was better for me anyway, and she was dead within the hour.
I can't stop blaming myself, thinking if i'd just called her she'd still be here. She was such a good friend to me and she deserved better. I am so shy and reclusive but she was always there to pull me out of my problems and help me feel better. I miss her every day and I don't know what to do.
I've started seeing a counselor since I also have complex PTSD and substance abuse problems but under the care plan i have, all we can do is run through ACT (Acceptance and commitment therapy) which doesn't really allow for dealing with specific problems like this.