I deal with all of this including the poor judgement and also feel this kind of split between a straight and narrow righteous person, and this out of control wild person. I don't think of it as being cursed, I do at times feel like I am 'possessed' like there is this whole other person that lives inside of me, and who sometimes IS me, and then I wake up from being that person and it is like being roused from a dream, and I find it hard to related to the person who decided to do all those things. Being cursed or possessed is a way of talking about this, but in terms of our illness, I believe this is referred to as dissociative identification disorder, one symptom of which is a sense of two distinct personalities. In our case perhaps that manifests as a straight and narrow person, and a wild one prone to sexual mania, but that is just circumstantial, the quality of being this one person, and then suddenly feeling like this other person, definitely seems dissociative to me. Maybe that is just me, perhaps I am not understanding what you are experiencing.

At any rate, if you'd like to talk more about this, and about sexual mania, I am happy to do so, perhaps better to take up in messaging?
Soon.
MT