I have almost this exact situation going. I am not so down on my wife now, though some times I have been.

She thinks of my bipolar and ADHD in terms of it's inconvenience and unfairness to her, not as something that I have to manage. She is not very supportive of my need to actively manage it. She won't support me being medicated, she wants me to address it using diet and exercise and what not, but then doesn't support those things either. Sometimes I'll be in a mood, maybe feeling really down, on the brink, and she'll start going after me about something, and I'll calmly request that she just wait because I am down and on the brink of something darker, and she just won't stop, and sometimes it sends me over the edge. And other times when I'm up, hypo manic, talking a lot, she is SOOO annoyed by me, so burdened by how long winded and intense I am. I hate it! I really feel like man, **** you! I am this way, if you want to be with some normative moderate person that always knows when to talk and not, and is concise and quiet and manicured and tight and together and on top of it and what not, then go find that person! I don't enjoy being bipolar, but I'll take it over being square!

Anyhow, now I'm ranting!

But, yes, I feel you. We also have only a few things in common, so much of what I enjoy she does not.

ALL OF THIS SAID!

I know how hard it is for her to be with me, and she has not abandoned me, and I have to value that, and I have to be sure I am not making decisions as a function of a manic lift off, and I have to also have compassion for her and the work she must do in her life to be with me.

So I am trying to work along with it now. But I'd love to be in touch with everyone who experiences this and support each other!
MT