For me, some hidden anger, sulking, being quiet, is to punish the other but I think sometimes it's a good thing I'm silent because often (especially when I'm sulking :-) I misperceive things or am angry because I didn't "get my way" or over something small and not "worth" being angry over and I need to learn to shrug. In short, sometimes I'm quiet and "wrong," which doesn't mean my anger is "bad," or inappropriate; one feels what one feels, but often just in a confusing place at cross purposes to myself.

Sometimes the truth hurts and it gets confusing to me being angry at the hurt and person who would deliberately or accidentally hurt one but recognizing the truth of the message. I have a slogan I thought up for myself, "what is true is true whether you like it or not" so I keep moving forward but I do want to acknowledge the anger, the "messenger" telling me I have a problem or conflict.