Hi lovely ladies,

I need your help! I've been suffering from severe and recurrent treatment-resistent depression for about 15 years. I've tried all sorts of pharmaceutical and behavioral treatments, none which have really significantly helped. It seems to have started around the time of puberty, as I don't remember being depressed as a child.

My pdoc mentioned that she had a patient that became depressed after giving birth to a child, but had never suffered from depression before. When they thought about what was different, it was that her patient was now not on birth control (I still wonder if she stopped taking it before becoming pregnant). After going back on birth control, the depression went away.

Due to the timing of the onset of my depression and reports like this from my pdoc, we both think that hormones may have something to do with it. I am not sexually active now and don't plan to be. I know that I need a pelvic exam to get birth control pills. I've never seen a gyno due to fear and PTSD issues. I'm 29. I've been working on that with my T and feel that I may be able to get through such an exam in a month or so (with some major dissociation).

Most of the information I've read so far reports that hormone treatments can increase depression. I haven't looked at any peer-reviewed empirical scientific evidence, yet. Have you found any birth control/hormones that decreased your depression? I think that this may be the key I'm looking for, but a negative effect (given my suicidal ideation) could lead to extreme consequences.

Any input/advice is appreciated! Also, feel free to comment about things related to this topic for a cathartic release for yourself, even if it doesn't help me.

Thanks,
Meow