Not all docs will require an exam for birth control, especially if you can find an OB-GYN who has experience working with trauma survivors. My OB-GYN NP is working with me toward being able to tolerate an exam, but in the meantime, she's still willing to give me birth control.

I've had the best luck with progesterone-only methods for my PMDD. I don't know if it helps overall with my depression, but it definitely makes that premenstrual week TONS better. When I've had trouble with birth control worsening my depression, it's always been ones that have estrogen as well as progesterone. But I imagine that could vary greatly from person to person, according to what your hormone balance looks like. Unfortunately, it may just be a matter of trial and error.

I hope you find something that helps! Treatment-resistant depression sucks.