This actually reminds me of my husband and me when we were dating. We both have PTSD as well, though we didn't know it at the time. We broke up several times over things we now know were because of PTSD. Basically, we were triggering the hell out of each other, though there were other triggers that contributed to our problems. Also, we both had problems with falling off the planet for a couple of days as does he.

Once we were married for several years, I was getting worse and if I got triggered badly enough, fight or flight kicked in big time and I would take off running. I'd get into my car and just drive until I could go no further. Sometimes I would stop and sleep in it until I recovered sufficiently or check into a hotel if I was too exhausted to safely drive back home. Because of his PTSD, he would accuse me of cheating on him because he was so confused as to why I did that, and I was confused as to why he would think I was cheating. It didn't help that I could not account for everything I did during the time I was gone. All I was thinking about when I ran was that I didn't want to hurt anyone. Things were made all the worse because one of my triggers is to be accused of doing something I did not do. I now know that stems from being beaten as a child for reasons that had nothing to do with me. It was not until I had my major meltdown that we sought help and were diagnosed. We have now been together for 22 years. He is my soulmate and I don't think I could live without him.

I still have problems with fight or flight. A little over a year ago I had an episode where I disassociated. During that time, apparently, I went to work as usual but could not remember going there or where I parked my car. Once I came out of it, I went to the ladies room to see if I had put on any make-up (I did, thank God! ) but I still can't remember what triggered it. One night last winter I couldn't stop crying so I went outside and sat on the back porch in the freezing cold and playing with my 3DS. I won't let anyone see me cry, not even my husband if I can help it, because when I was little, my abuser couldn't stand it and sometimes I would find myself getting beaten again. Some things you never get over, I guess.

Anyway, I'm telling you all of this because I think you two have an advantage that we did not - you already know you have psychiatric injuries. Relationships are hard to begin with - harder for people like us, imo. Good communication is the key to making it work even though communicating is harder for people like us as well. If hubby is having PTSD issues, he either tells me what's going on in his head or says he doesn't want to talk about it. If I can do anything to help, I will, though sometimes he just wants to be left alone, so I give him all the space he needs for as long as he needs it.

Nowadays, I can usually recognize when I am going into 'freak out' mode so I make sure he knows it's happening even though I don't know why. If it's really bad, I call my psychiatrist or go to the ER, and a few times I have texted my therapist. Once I am past it and no longer need space and return to the planet, I make sure to explain it to him as best I can so that if it happens again, it makes it easier for him to recognize it, too.

In the early days of our relationship, neither of us ever thought to tell the other why we would 'disengage' from time to time. It was always hot or cold, never in between. We both agree had we known about each others PTSD, we would have handled things differently. I think you should simply ask him what's going on. Most likely, he doesn't know how confused you are, and could learn to give you a 'heads up' the next time he feels like 'falling off the planet'.

Above all, if you really like this guy a lot, and it seems you do or you would not be posting about this, be patient with him as you also need him to be patient with you.

Blessings to the two of you. Keep us posted on how it's going and feel free to PM me if you want. I'm usually around.

WW