Bluedonna, your experience sounds a lot like mine in ways. My mother will give advice when I just want to talk and reprimand me for feeling sad and hopeless and just generally expressing negative feelings. She gets very anxious but she is not really aware of it and she 'pushes' it onto those around her. She needs to feel as though she is the strong one caring for family and friends but what ultimately happens is she usurps others' strength to serve her own need to feel strong.
I love my mom and I know her problems stem from her own childhood abuse but her lack of self awareness is truly damaging to those close to her. One of my biggest fears is that I would hurt my own children in the same way...
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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
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