I'm not sure that I can say anything to help, but I have read what you have to say and I am truly sorry that you are having such a hard time.

You need to give yourself some time and space, to recover from your surgery and to grieve for the loss of your friend. Based on what you have written about your husband, he is abusing you and I think you would be better off without someone who treats you like that. Is there anywhere you can go or stay where you will be safe? Perhaps you could contact a women's refuge or support group.

I know you feel that you've been let down, but there are people on this site who care and who will offer whatever support and advice they can.