That sounds like adulthood, not teenagerhood. (I don't think that's a real word, but whatever.)

I think there's this cultural myth that this happens when you hit 18 or something, but it's been my experience that different people "come into themselves" at very different times. I can relate a lot to your process. I grew up in a family that repressed individuality and personal opinions, and I was terrified to do anything they might not approve of. Things shifted for me gradually, as I discovered I have values radically different from my family's, and I started becoming more comfortable with that. There are still times I catch myself lapsing into the "good kid" role, but most of the time, I feel much more separate from my family and secure in my own identity. To me, that feels like growing up, not being a teenager.

But it's okay for the process to take as long as it takes. I don't think there's really any "should've done it as a teenager" timeline or anything.