I feel like I'm trapped, like I'm an asshole for still thinking about/wanting to leave

My husband, E, has been talking with the pastor for a couple of weeks now

So far the only real change I've seen is him admitting that he is 'lost', being SLIGHTLY more in the word... But everything else is just the same as when he is in a good cycle

I feel strongly that God has been telling me to leave, but because of my own lack of faith I don't know for certain

And I'm afraid to make a decision

The people at church who know keep saying 'God can change him' and because of this, I feel wrong to still want to at least separate from him

I feel that the church doesn't think emotional or verbal abuse is abuse
That unless he is physically hurting us, I'm obligated to stay and 'save' him

I'm tired
I'm tired of waiting to see if... when... The other side of E will reappear