One thing that I dislike about myself is that I’m lazy. That’s what others see me... and definitely, it's what I think of myself! I’m too lazy to do my responsibilities. I don't know, but I’m not motivated to do things. I would always feel I’m incapable of doing anything. Every time I fail to do what they expect me to do (like doing chores), my family really makes me feel guilty. I would feel my whole guts go inverted. They make me feel humiliated in front of them and my cousins. I hate them! But I hate myself too! Sometimes I would pretend that their ridiculous statements about me don't really affect me... but I’m always the loser! I don't like to be this anymore!!!!!
What really happened was... I got scolded for not having cooked dinner. We have no helper in the house and my sister assumed the responsibility to me because she's going out. I didn't cook. I was studying my lessons. And when she came home, she figured out that I haven't cooked dinner. And she scolded me in front of them and my cousins. I hate her for humiliating me! I hate her! I hate her!
I’m sorry if I’m telling a lot of my problems here. I just thought that this forum could be my only output and I trust that I won't be embarrassed for having these feelings at least. I don't want anymore to suppress my feelings. I don't have anyone to trust. I never had. I don't want also to pretend that there's nothing bothering me. Honestly, there are a lot of things that really bother me! And I feel I’m getting crazier as more and more problems go my way!
So please bear with me if I’m absolutely chaotic!
My true self has been silenced ever since I was molested. And everything that the world has perceived about me was just my way to fulfill my need to survive and not to fulfill my own happiness.
I’m so worried even until now, that I can't find safety anywhere I go and in anyone I go with.
Uhh... enough of this!

I tried the mental hug that you’ve suggested. It works for me! J I hope I can do great things tomorrow…
Thank you for inspiring me…